WE SAY "FAMILY". DO WE MEAN IT?

For the last few years, my team has ended practice, left the locker room, or broken a huddle with the same cheer: “1…2…3…Family.”

On paper, this is exactly the kind of tradition I discuss in Chapter 12 of MIND GAMES. Traditions build identity. They are not about flash; they are about meaning. And “family” is about as clear a sign of team-first culture as one could get.

But to be honest with you, I don’t think most of my players say it because they mean it. I think they say it because the team before them said it, and the team before that said it.

It’s more muscle memory than a mission statement.

How Do I Know This?

If “family” actually described this group (or any of the previous two), I wouldn’t see what I see. Players missing practice without much urgency or regret. Guys falling behind in class. Skipping or arriving late to class, workouts, and practices. None of that describes how a family operates (and yes, I know that not all families are picture perfect). Family shows up for each other, even when times get tough, and it’s inconvenient.

So the cheer itself isn’t wrong; it’s just not right for my team.

A championship culture isn’t simply words on a poster or social media post. It’s the actions that take place on a daily basis. A chant at the end of practice can be a legitimate expression of shared values, or it can be an empty ritual the team performs out of habit. The difference isn’t in the words; it’s what the words actually mean and the standards that they are being held to.

Standards both on and off the court are one of the focal points of the chapter.

• Athletic Standards: Showing up for each other, even when injured or not playing. Nutrition. Rest.

• Behavioral Standards: Attendance. Punctuality. How teammates are treated.

• Academic Standards: Grades. Study habits. Check-ins

  
  

As a coach, I check on both attendance and academics, both of which impact playing time and, in turn, team success. While that is part of my role as a coach, part of the role of a teammate is noticing when another team member is MIA or slipping in class.

Together, it is our job to pick each other up and hold each other accountable. If not, then the chant “family” is just noise.

The fix isn’t finding a new cheer; it’s correcting the current one to make sure that the behavior matches the words.

1. Call Them Out - If a teammate isn’t showing up to class or practice, don’t wait for a coach to say something. You aren’t snitching on them; you are holding them accountable.

2. Check In - Notice when a teammate is missing practice, quiet, or falling behind. A “are you good” text or phone call is just as important as a game-winning basket.

3. Hold Everyone To The Same Standard - It’s easy to ignore a missed practice when it’s the 12th man on the team, or a missed class by a teammate who isn’t in your friend group, but the depth chart standards should be the same from starters through the bench.

Culture Check

Before your next practice, honestly ask yourself:

• What’s one tradition or phrase your team uses that they don’t fully live up to?

• What’s the behavior that contradicts it?

• What one standard do you need to start enforcing immediately, not eventually?

I’m still allowing my team to say “family” when we break our huddle. I’m just asking them to think more about what the word means and not let it just be a cheer, but rather a standard.

This is adapted from Chapter 12 of MIND GAMES: BUILD THE MINDSET OF A BASKETBALL CHAMPION, which includes a full team culture assessment and a culture action plan.

Does your team have a tradition that has earned its meaning? Or one that is still trying to find its worth? Let me know in the comments.