You Don't Have To Like Everyone On Your Team...You Just Have To Win With Them

Every player deals with it at some point in their career, sometimes more than once. The teammate who won’t pass. The coach who never seems satisfied. The locker room drama that has nothing to do with basketball, but everything to do with your focus on the court.

While this can all be discouraging and often seen as roadblocks to success, it can also be used as a lesson in leadership, both on and off the court.

An Individual Team Sport

You are never going to agree with everyone, click with everyone, or run every possession smoothly. Some of the best teams in basketball history were made up of multiple personalities that constantly butted heads (Shaq/Kobe, Jordan/Pippen/Rodman). What separated them wasn’t chemistry in the sense that they had to be “best friends”, but rather the mindset that they had to work together to achieve the common goal of a championship.

That’s a skill.

Like any skill, it takes time and is built through repetition.

The Ball-Hog

This is probably the least favorite person to play with and can get frustrating quickly. Most players’ instinct is to match the selfishness or vent to everyone else except the person causing the problem.

Neither one is the right answer.

What works is being vocal in the moment and leading by example by making the right plays. If the selfishness keeps happening, have a direct and private conversation with a focus on the team goals, not your personal frustration.

The Unsatisfied Coach

Sometimes it seems as though your coach is never happy. Sometimes that comes from a place of higher expectations, not dislike for the players personally. Unfortunately, players are the ones who are challenged with separating the message from the delivery.

Sometimes that expectation is loud. Don’t confuse volume for anger. Sometimes volume is passion. The bar is high, so sometimes the voice is high right along with it.

Ask yourself this: What is your coach actually asking? Is it reasonable? Is it something that you can control? More often than not, the response and the effort are what earn trust over time.

The Common Factor

In almost every challenging relationship on a team, the quickest and smoothest path forward is the same.

Control your own effort.

Control your own attitude.

Control your own language (verbal and body language).

Communicate directly with the person, rather than around them.

Speak up. Find out what’s wrong. Maybe it’s them, maybe it’s you, maybe it’s both.

This is the same framework Chapter 11 of MIND GAMES breaks down in more detail, with exercises to work through it.

*Sidenote - Bullying, harassment, and anything that puts you physically or mentally at risk is not something that you should try to deal with alone; talk to a coach, parent, or someone you trust.

Get Better Together

Who’s testing you right now? A teammate? A coach? Maybe a teacher or even a parent?

The question is, what are YOU doing about it to help solve the issue?